Let me tell you something. Rejection is real. It’s visceral. It’s something you feel deep down inside that makes you feel uncomfortable, and for some, unworthy.
I’ll be talking LIVE about Acceptances and Rejections on April 4th at 12PM CST on FB Live – make sure to go here at that time and like our page, of course – www.facebook.com/collegeshortcuts
If you only KNEW the amount of times I have been rejected you would vomit.
While I have been wildly successful in my academic career and business life, there are other parts of my life where I feel like an absolutely complete idiot.
Trust me, when they say SHE-O’s (female CEO's) can have it all – it’s not actually true. You are going to win some, and you are going to deeply lose some.
So, here is the thing – when your child experiences rejection – how do you handle it?
My mom actually feels my pain – so when I cry, she feels it. When I am upset or get rejected, she feels upset and rejected.
The thing is, we got to a place where she eventually realized I had to fall, fail, and get back up on my own. This is how resilience is built. This is how grit is built.
Every door that closes, there is one that opens.
This topic is very near and dear to me, it is why I include an entire video in my College Shortcuts course on Acceptances and Rejections.
Why? Because I tied my self-worth and my identity to my academic career. So any rejection for me felt like a blow to who I was as a person. Trying to prove, trying to do, trying to achieve. So, now as a mentor, I help students to push past this – and it is a topic that I hold near to me – because I have seen too many students suffer from anxiety, stress, and depression around the college process. FEAR. FRUSTRATION. ANGER.
See, unfortunately, many of us take rejection personally. I sure did. I remember when I was rejected for my date for prom – Yes, I am serious. I remember when I applied for internships and didn’t get them. I remember when I would put myself out there and people would tell me to shrink, be smaller, or put me in a box or label me. I was bullied pretty badly that I ended up having to switch schools three times in elementary and middle school. So, I am here to tell you, rejection is near and dear to my heart.
I am here to tell you something. This is the time for you to teach your child a lesson in rejection. Explain to them that in life there are many times you will experience this feeling, and that it is a way to learn from these two things:
How can you improve and be better?
How can you look at this as an opportunity to find other options?
One of the BEST ways to express a lesson to your child is to recount from your OWN experience. You are a guru when it comes to the amount of life experiences you have had – and sometimes when you talk about your own personal experiences your child will listen – and sometimes when you think they aren’t listening, they really are.
My mom and I didn’t always get along – for years…but I will say that she has had to watch me fall OVER and OVER and OVER because I wear my heart on my sleeve. Anything I do, I do it at full throttle – I am that type of person – so when I get rejected it feels like physical pain.
But now, I am more authentic and real with myself – if this doesn’t work out, that is alright, because in the end what did I learn from this?
For your child, it may be that they needed to learn to be a better student. Maybe they needed to put their applications together ahead of time or use resources like College Shortcuts and use it effectively.
Or, maybe it is just that they were looking for a specific type of student, and your child just didn’t fit in that little square box. Maybe your child was too much like every other kid, and they needed to add diversity to their student body – and which in that case, well, what are the other opportunities? How can your child make the BEST of the situation?
P.S. – There is nothing more frustrating than watching your kid get rejected. But, why not find solutions that can prepare you for the college process and make sure to give them the best chances? I am going to be talking about the importance of creating a bullet-proof strategy around this in my next email. If you have been on the fence about getting College Shortcuts – get the course now before we close enrollment – www.collegeshortcuts.com/join
P.P.S. - I’ll be talking LIVE about Acceptances and Rejections on April 4th at 12PM CST on FB Live – make sure to go here at that time and like our page, of course.