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Why Getting a Coach Is The Hardest Step

The blog post below is a rough transcription of the video above – so please listen to the video if possible – otherwise, here is what was in the video:

Hey everyone - it is Neha with College Shortcuts. Hope you are having an amazing morning!

I just want to do a quick video about something that is kind of authentic and real. It's kind of like a tell-all about what's going on with me.

One of the things I was realizing was that I was procrastinating in a certain part of my life.

It was interesting to do the experiment or the experience of procrastination because there are certain parts of my life that I'm very on top of when it comes to work. . .  great. When it comes to family. . . awesome.

I'm always on it.

But the one place where I tend to struggle a little bit is - wanting to go work out.I'm going to use this as an analogy because I couldn't believe like how related it was to what we do here at College Shortcuts.

I got to a place where I was actually injured from just normal life, because I was lifting heavy stuff and dealing with stuff that was difficult, like lifting stuff, and I ended up injuring my neck a little bit.

I got basically to what I call my rock bottom and I think every kid hits the rock bottom at some point in their academic career, and/or with test prep or whatever it is.

You get your scores back or you go to the doctor for example and you get your numbers back and you're just like this is pitiful. Like what is wrong with me? What is happening?

But you go to this point and I realize you get to this point, where it's like your breaking point, and you're like hold on a second, there's no way like I'm going to live like this anymore.

I'm not going to keep doing it this way anymore.

I've recently decided to get a coach in a part of my life that's super hard. But the funny part was, it’s not even like "Hey I need you to do this, and I need you to meet me at this time, three times a week. . ." The stuff we do at tutoring, where we set it up, we have the coach come in and I've realized that is actually the easy part. The work a little hard, but getting everything set up not the hard part.

The hard part, the true hard part of this little game of procrastination is admitting that you need help because you're dealing with an ego and my ego was "I can do this on my own."

I'm an overachiever. I'm always at the top of my game with everything. It's the worst.

It's the worst because you don't get the help that you actually need.

You may not even be doing what you're supposed to be doing right.

I watch it with students all the time where I'm like "Dude you're studying way too much for US AP, like that is not the way to do it," or "Dude, you are not studying for SAT right."

I'll show you an example for me. You know you ask me to go work out. I'm not pushing myself at 100%. I put myself at like 60% or I don't do the right form and so I end up injuring this part of my body. I thought I'd just do a short video this morning.

I just got done with my coach. I feel like I'm on fire.

I feel better.

I feel like someone's rooting for me.

I feel like I have to be good with my diet more than ever before. I was thinking to myself "My god the hardest part is not actually booking the appointments with our clients." I was always like "Oh, it must be getting it into the schedule. That's actually the challenging part." That's not the hard part.

The hard part is for your child to admit that they want help or for you as a parent to admit that your kid needs help. That's the psychological issue.

We decided at College Shortcuts recently that we were going to offer something called a starter pack because the starter pack is such a small investment.It's literally like "Hey experience us, see what it feels like to have a coach by your side."

If you want to us, awesome and if not that's okay too but at least you took the biggest step. The hardest step which is hey, I'm going to try this out, like let me just see if this makes sense for me.

I just wanted to do this video, because I'm seeing it in this part of my life. I'm sure moms and dads feel like you want to be able to say like "Hey I'm good at everything," like "I'm on top of it with most things."

The truth of the matter is there's going to be part of your life that you're not great at.

I wish I could say I'm the best at everything, but clearly not in this area.  My sister is amazing at self-care. She's amazing in taking care of her health. It's her game, it's what her business is. I mean she's a rock star at it. Even having her in my life, by the way my sister who I talk to a lot each day, still wasn't making the changes.

That's when I realized I have to pay to feel the pain, to want to commit to something. If you know that about yourself, like if you understand that psychology about yourself, you can get results a lot faster.

For example right now you know I'm having to do things I don't normally do.

I was thinking about it like with SAT prep and ACT prep. No one wants to do it. No one!

I've never seen a teenager even at the top of their game at school be like "Yeah, reading comp! Oh my god I can't wait to do math problems." No!

Just like you don't see me going to the gym and being like "Yay! I get to do this really hard exercise to get my arm up again. Back to where it's supposed to be." No, because I realize, and I was listening to Tony Robbins this morning, sometimes you need to go through a little bit of pain to get the drive that you need.

So many parents I talk to are like "Oh, I just don't know if my kid can do that. I just don't want to push them over the edge." I'm like "Dude, are you kidding me? This is hard for them. Are we building resilience in kids or just softies?"

If you want your kids to be driven, and motivated, and strong, and be able to get through things, and like challenge themselves. . . yet, you aren't even willing to take the first step of what it takes.

Which is number one - admit that you need help.

Number two - actually do it even through the pain points of it.

See a lot of people quit. I was one of those people in this part of my life. I do a few spin classes, I'm like "Yeah I'm so great. Alright well for a few days." No guys it's not that. It's not! That is not what makes you at the top of your game here.

This is what really cracked me up this morning because I feel like so many kids right now, you got these parents that like works so hard and they grind it out.

You know, it's a must for you to do a lot of the work that you do as a parent.

But for your kids, they don't hold the same standard.

That's another big thing I keep seeing. It's like "Oh I just don't know. I mean they just may not want to do it." I'm like "Do you go to work and go to your boss and say I just don't feel like doing that today." "Sorry don't do it." No, you don't do that.

What makes you think it's okay to only allow your kid to do things they want to do? Only that?

Because guess what you're not setting them up for life, if that's the case, you are telling them "Hey you know what, life is easy. I'm going to make sure that you are always good to go, you're taking care of. Hey you know what, you don't have to do anything hard. Don't worry about it, it's not a problem, like you just do you, and it's fine."

I want you to know that is not how life works.

First of all, if you really want to get your kid into a good college you want them to learn what it takes.

They better be ready for the game of what it takes to get into a good college.

By the way, you want to know what it takes to get into a good college? It takes a lot of work and your kid has to learn what it takes to stay in a good college.

You want to know what it takes to stay in a good college?


It takes drive.

It takes a little bit of pain.

I mean you don't just get into a good college by doing nothing and sitting on your butt watching Netflix all day. It takes a lot of work and so I wanted to do this video today because I'm working my butt off. I'm doing things I don't even want to do.

I want you to know that it is all about making sure that your kid understands the importance of the challenge.

I am tired of seeing so many students not focused on the challenge. They're just all like "Whatever! I'm going to do this it's going to be easy."

It's not easy guys.

It's not always easy.

I mean I just went up the stairs and it was hard but that doesn't mean I don't keep going up the stairs. I have to keep doing it and I want you to know the biggest hardest step of all of this is just admitting that "Hey it's okay to need help in something. Hey it's okay."

We want to teach our kids not to be martyrs. We want to teach our kids to get the help that they need to really succeed in life and to understand they can't be the best at everything.

Just so you know I wasn't the best in geometry. I was the worst at chemistry. I was amazing at certain subjects, but I used to have such an ego and I'd be like "I'm an overachiever. I'm an all A student mom. I don't need help. Stop trying to give me help. I don't want help. I can do this." It was like "Hey, do I want to work harder and not smarter." That's where I'm at right now.

I would kill myself sometimes at the gym when I do it myself and the person I'm working with, my coach, is like "Hey, you keep injuring yourself." Meaning in teenage dream you keep burning yourself out and becoming a really mean little human being.

Here's a better way to do it - Having someone a few steps ahead is . . . oh my god, it's like a fresh breath of air.

It boosts my confidence and makes me realize I can get there.

I have someone by my side who's holding me and making sure I'm okay.

Who's rooting for me.

These are all the types of things we're doing are College Shortcuts and Elite Private Tutors. I'm going to be taking you on this journey about how hard it is even for me to have a coach, for me to admit that I need help, and that's a first step. I've now had two sessions. I've been more on it this week than ever before and it's the little things that I'm doing. I truly believe that if I didn't have my coach right now, I would still be doing the same stuff. Still have an injured neck. Not focus on myself in what I really truly need to be doing daily and building the right habits in.

I'm reading this book right now. It's "My White Hot Truth" about what I'm experiencing as an older overachiever, top-of-my-class kind of kid from high school, went to Rice. I'm walking you through the psychology of what your teenager is feeling when you try to have a conversation with them about needing help, because sometimes it's not about them making the decision to need the help.

I had to have my physical therapist say "You need to get a coach to work the right muscles. Your muscles are lazy Neha in certain parts. You're working one muscle and all these other ones aren't working anymore." That's the same game I'm really good at Math and English, but I suck at X, Y, and Z. Sorry I don't want to work those muscles or "Hey, I really suck at these parts of the ACT" or "Hey, I don't want to write my college essay." These are all different parts of the muscle of the academic career. It's so much easier. So much easier just to tense up one muscle because that's the one you're good at.

As a teenager you're like "Oh I'm awesome. I want to be on the top of everything." but it's the struggle.

It's a struggle that's really hard.

So definitely call in. We've got starter packs going on right now. We have about, I think I have eight slots left. So what I would love to do is have you guys call when I put my phone number below.

I really do believe that sometimes this needs to be another person's decision. For me it took me a lot. I knew I needed it, but I wasn't willing to admit it.

I know that's a lot coming from me. I'm being really really real here with you guys. I knew I needed that help, but I wasn't willing to admit it. My ego was too big.

You might have a teenager with a big ego or with a little too much pride because they're young. They're just like "I don't need it! I'm fine!"

That's where sometimes you just have to step in as a parent and say "Hey, I've got this coach, try it out for two sessions or one session."

See how it goes. If you don't want it, fine. But that's why we decided to offer starter packs. We were just doing massive packages before.

We're doing starter packs for you guys to experience it and then we can build a custom plan. Most of our starter packs are only $299.

You can test it out see how it goes. But get your kids feet dipped in, a little wet, to see what the experience feels like, because my god, I already feel like my dream is not that far away in this part of my life. Like I really do. I'm telling you that's huge for me. Huge for me. Like huge for me. I want your child to feel the same way.

Hope you guys are well. Hope you guys are doing amazing. I just wanted to do a quick video about the importance of having a coach and what it can feel like and how I'm going through this journey.

I'm learning so much so I can be the best coach possible and I can inspire more kids. But I'm also going through this journey and I'm learning so much about what it's like to have a coach again in my life. It's so much better than the inner voice that I had in my head of "You can't do this, most people in your family suffer from bad health. You will too."

You may not get over this hump. I'm telling you like that voice is very painful and it's more of a critic than you will ever realize.

If you have a student that does well in school, that voice is so loud.

If you heard what's walking around in your teenager's head. You'd be floored.

I just want you to know I'm kind of like an overgrown teenager in a lot of ways. I'm sure you guys feel that way.

Even with the coach at the gym, I'm looking at the other woman and I'm like "Wow! Whoa! my standards are low." You know like that's intense on health, like she's got it together. Before I used to look at her without my coach I used to look at her and be like "I'll never achieve that." Can you imagine me saying that? Like me who's a rock star. I'm like “That's just good genetics." No, I'm like well I mean _____ looks pretty good and she's Indian, so what am I talking about, right? Anyways so all I'm saying is basically now I look at that woman and I'm like in appreciation. I'm like you know what, she's just a few months ahead of me.

Just like the perfect test score is just a few months ahead of you or getting into a Harvard, Yale, a  UT, a Rice.

This is just a few months or a few years ahead. But having the right person in place can make it feel more fun instead of the inner voice of "I can't. I don't know. I'm too fat. I'm too ugly. I can't do this. I'm not secure enough. My grades aren't good enough. My test scores aren't good enough. I don't know if people like me. I don't know what I want to do." It's a lot of voices in there. It's exhausting.

I just want to do this quick video to let you know I am committed all the way through December, which is scary. It's funny because I'm probably feeling like what my teenagers feel when they commit to us a little bit like "Oh I have a coach for like every week two to three times a week." like I'd rather not. I'd rather watch Netflix and the Cheetos and watch Kim Kardashian. So I get it. I just want to give you tips here.

Number one - get a starter pack for your kid. Just test it out, right? Like that's the biggest step.

Two - YOU make the decision. Not them.

Someone else had to make this decision for me. It was my doctor and it was my physical therapist. They had to do it in a very nice way, because I don't take feedback very well sometimes as a CEO.

I'm just telling you my physical therapist was a male right. So you know male to female dynamic. You better not mention that any parts of my body are squishy. He said "Neha, it feels like all of these muscles are doing all the work for you. There's other parts that really need to be able to be strengthened because I know you're strong."

Damn, it's a good explanation versus like my mom who's like "Your back looks mushy. You're not fitting in the blouse." Right? You notice there's differences in the way to introduce it.

You may want to think about your verbiage and your tone and how you say it because it might be really helpful. Of course my doctor was like "Hey I need you to get someone that's holding you accountable because your love for noodles is really like it's just it's killing your numbers."

I'm just telling you that outside help? Super important.

My family knew it. My sister who runs a turmeric supplement line has been knowing this for a year and she beat me, like beat me at the weight loss journey. She lost 10 dress sizes in 10 months. I'm highly competitive. Okay guys, totally competitive.

I felt the need to do this video this morning. I was in my work, thinking about each and every one of you and I was like "Wow! The first step is the hardest."

This step, this is the hardest up right here. This right here, this one step I take, that's the hardest step you will take your entire experience when you work with us. After that you better believe it.

You have my word that we're going to take incredible care of her child and we're going to make this experience amazing. I can't cuss on video but it's amazing.

I just want to let you know I'm doing a few of these Neha sweaty videos just to let you know that I'm an overachiever. I was not easy to raise. I was actually really hard to raise.

I might do a video with my mom but I will tell you she's very shy on camera. But I'm telling you I was that teenager that you were dealing with in your home. That has an ego. That has pride and wants to tell you that they're the best and they can do anything they want and they don't need the help.

It's your job as a parent to give them a little relief because it's so hard. It's so exhausting to watch someone like slough through something.

For me, I feel every child that we work with it was just a first step, and then they get in and they're like, "Oh my god I love my coach, she's so great!" And I'm like "I know."

Call us 713-401-2867. I want to make sure you feel the kind of relief I'm feeling this morning.